Everyone loves a new beginning, don't they?
New life, new hope, new romance, new year, new start.
Our vows to do things differently and accomplish new things are unpacked and dusted off in the first few days of January.
How about a new script?
People love language, we need it. Words help us tell stories and storytelling is a fundamental part of being human.
Many stories and fragments of stories are as familiar to us as our fingernails:
Once upon a __________
Blondes have all the __________
There's no place like __________
Sayings and stories become so familiar to us that they seem real. They become so automatic that we don't have to think about them.
Even unhelpful 'stories' seem real:
I always pick the wrong type of guy.
We are terrible with money.
Why try? I know that I'll fail.
No one likes me. I am a loser.
What we need to realise is that just because the story is familiar or we believe it: that does not mean it is true.
Like the sticky tape that got wrapped around our fingers when we were wrapping Xmas presents last month (unless you cleverly used gift bags: go you!!)
We really need to unpeel the sticky, false stories that we tell ourselves - again and again - to make those lasting changes we dream up as our new year resolutions.
We can learn new stories to tell ourselves about who we are, what we're capable of.
The old stories won't go away but they will be overlaid by newer versions.
I don't date guys who tell racist jokes.
We save 5% of what we earn because we have a goal.
I drink only low alcohol beer.
I never give up.
Here you are expanding your identity, but not changing it.
As I always say: start small. Pick a small thing that you want to achieve.
Create a statement to support it.
In our house, we have one hour of screen-free time per day
I clean my bathroom on Tuesday before work
I don't eat after 8 pm
I eat vegetables every dinnertime
I put aside $10 per week for school books and uniforms
Start with one and treat it as an experiment. Review how you went after a few weeks.
Let me know in a quick email or Facebook message how you go with it. If you would like to talk some more about changing some of the stories that you live by then:
-call me on 0492 918 646,
-email me at kyliebellcounselling@gmail.com
or reach out on my Facebook group Working Parent Wins
Let’s work together to make life easier 😊
