When folks come to counselling it's usually because life has stopped working or life hasn't been working for quite some time and things need to change. You may have tried lots of things before you decided on counselling:
By the time you decide on counselling, finally get an appointment and have met the counsellor who seems like they might be safe to talk to: a lot of time has passed.
~ A lot of time for the problem or problems to have taken hold. ~ A lot of time for many life events to occur that become examples - again and again - that you have problems that won't go away.
This very long list of examples from your life can convince you that your problems are entrenched, permanent. The list becomes the stories that you habitually tell yourself.
As those stories add up, your awareness of exceptions lessens.
Exceptions are the times that you experience a break in your sadness or hopelessness or when your fear is less compelling.
Any time that the emotional sun breaks through the moody clouds - and those times do happen even if very briefly - goes by unnoticed.
One major tactic on any emotional healing journey is when you pay a little more attention to what is going OK for you.
When did you not feel so guilty, sad, burdensome, afraid or worthless?
When were your thoughts optimistic and confident?
When did you feel ok?
You are noticing when you're OK.
You aren't expending much energy to lift your mood state other than riding the ups and downs of life and noticing the ups a bit more. Many people say their counselling goal is to feel happy, without an idea of what happiness is for them. Without a picture of their brand of "happy", they aren't seeing the small dollops of happiness that are spontaneously served up to them in daily life. Or they may have confused "happy" with an absence of any feeling other than joy. Which is not on the JDF of being human, I have to break it to you. For humans 'happy' = satisfied, curious, sad, frustrated, amused, angry, vulnerable, tempted, disappointed, hopeless, whimsical, bored, content, scared and simultaneously keeping sight of our goals, passions responsibilities, relationships and unique histories.
SO: Have a look around your life.
You are probably "doing OK" a lot more than you give credit for.
If you would like to talk some more about how to notice your "moments of doing ok" then reach out:
-call me on 0492 918 646,
-email me at kyliebellcounselling@gmail.com,
Yours, doing OK, Kylie 😊